May 11, 2011

Telecanter's Tumbler - Puns of the Mad Mage

 There is quite a trove of treasures over at Telecanter's lovely blog.  I was especially moved by his thoughts on a tumbling dungeon.  Now the notion is spinning round my skull.  As I pondered, I discovered the perfect twist.


You see, I quickly decided that my tumbling dungeon was built long ago by the mad mage/alchemist Telecanter (who I hope does not mind that I steal his idea AND his name).
Self-portrait of the mad mage, drawn posthumously

The dungeon will consist of 15 rooms, 3 parallel levels/planes of 5 rooms each.  Dungeon details to be posted later.

Legends about Telecanter will provide some clues about the location of a strange dungeon he built, and hint about a powerful magical item called Telecanter's Tumbler.  The descriptions and functions of the Tumbler will vary wildly... a belt, ring, or codpiece that grants the wearer acrobatic skills... a magical drinking glass with a pointed or round bottom... the only surviving piece of Telecanter's Lock... or whatever.  Telecanter's Tumbler is actually the name of the dungeon itself, Telecanter personally started most of the false rumors in order to draw vict... er... visitors.

The dungeon turns 90° once per hour.  It takes a little over a minute for the wall to become the floor.  Throughout the rooms of the dungeon, phrases are carved deeply into the stone walls/sides.  These carvings are original features, not new work.  The original puns here, my "improvements" below.

esrevni setirw teop drawkcab A -  (A backward poet writes inverse.)

She was only a brewer, but he loved her still.

No matter how you roll the parchment, it’ll still be stationery.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

A priest might loose his faith, but never turns away from the prophets.

“You stay here, I’ll go on a head.” - Hat

I wondered why the rock kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

The soldier who survives being peppered with arrows becomes a seasoned veteran.

When cannibals ate the priest, they got a taste of religion.

You can spend a lifetime studying pagan cults, but you have to join in order to truly enjoy the sects!

The farmer is a poet, the chicken his poultry.

Anytime someone within the dungeon groans, the sound echoes and reverberates.  The volume quickly increases until soon the entire dungeon groans deafeningly... which triggers a sudden 90° turn in addition to the usual hourly turnings.  Telecanter was worried that he might die of old age before his Tumbler turned enough times, so he designed this magical loophole and added the puns hoping to speed things along.  This is also why he teleported in zombies whenever he happened to run across them, but these have rotted away over time into non-groaning skeletons.

I'm looking for at least four more groan worthy puns if anyone has a suggestion.  Bonus XP if they make players leave the table in horror or cause a student of English Literature to loose their lunch.

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