Bizarre Safari: A Traveler's Guide to Goblin Land
Good health and long life to all who read herein. I am Vithujin the Elf, member of the adventuring group called the Silver Shields. I am a dungeon delver and obviously no great sage, but I'm no simpleton either. In my youth I spent a few short decades learning the lore of my people, and studying from the arcane texts. As a resident of the guesthouse at the Abbey of St. Emmet, I've heard countless stories and wild rumors. Back then, I thought I knew a little something about everything. Yet, never have I seen reference nor heard any whisper to even hint at the existence of Goblin Land. Without any clue or warning, I simply stepped into a new world and saw it all with my own eyes. It is a vast, unknown, and alien realm. I feel compelled to document this strange and colorful place.
My companions are not too keen for me to share these secrets. They fear that my words will encourage other explorers to come and exploit the meager resources we've worked so hard to find. I hope that they forgive me. While I share their concerns, I know that others will stumble through the portal eventually. We have made allies among some of the alien peoples living in Goblin Land, and I would hate for others to kill them simply because they look so strange. We are striving to forge alliances here, and even a single such incident might ruin our reputations and plans. They aren't all friends, there are dangers here as well. Some are enemies to be avoided or swiftly killed. So, I've decided to share with you all that I can about this strange world, hoping that in return you might respect our friends and help us fight the red four-armed bastards who think they own the place.
Whenever I return to see blue skies and familiar stars, I plan to leave a few new pages with the monks at the Abbey of St. Emmet. I hope they might copy and bind them, making my words available for any who wish to read. I may well find my end while exploring Goblin Land. Perhaps these stories at least can be your guide even if I cannot.
Finding the Portal to Goblin Land
With mystery and magic quickly fading from the Earth, my friends and I are working to lead many into a strange new realm. We call it Goblin Land. We're attempting now to seal all the portals to our old world, save one. I'm sworn against providing exact directions, so the best I can do for you is share the few lines of cryptic poetry we've left with the remaining elves and dwarves in case they wish to follow. Seek us out, noble heroes.
In Goblin Land we'll wait for you. So should you wish to go;
You'll make your way to Dundagel, then down the depths below.
No map nor guide knows where we hide. Will you find where we are?
Thresh on the Throne of Melting Flesh, you've likely gone too far.
Within a stark plain corridor the portal can be found.
Carved in the wall and eight feet tall; it's open, large, and round.
These silent seeming circle stones are ringed by glyphs and runes.
Does still their builder live beyond, beneath the triple moons?
The path is blocked, the way is shut, so close but yet so far.
A dwarven metal wall keeps safe the goblin made bazaar.
In center stands a sturdy door now double locked and barred.
This tough blockade is smartly made, but entry isn't hard.
You'll find no hinge nor handle for we loathe to be surprised.
So knock and smile and be polite and soon you'll have arrived.
Here lives the goblin merchant, who I'll thank you not to kill.
Beyond his store through the other door, there lies Goblinville.