On Fearlessness

Fearlessness is the natural human state. We have all forgotten. Brainwashed into our cult of culture, molded by social order, and trapped within ourselves by all the vocabulary that we lack. We have forgotten the old ways.

The universe is made of magic. We dream reality into existence, pulling it into the material by every art and craft at our disposal. The new is conceived before it is born. Imagine your desires with all the detail you can muster. Imagine it happening now. Put yourself there. Add more detail. Write it out. Do a vision board. Talk about it. Imagine the thing vividly, and then wind your words around it so that others might see the shape. Now, move toward the goal at a deliberate plodding pace. DO NOT SPRINT. Sprinting to goals equates to vulgar magic which will deplete reserves. You must move at a plodding pace so that the universe can meet you halfway. It will help you, if you are attentive enough to notice the opportunities as they arise. Be here now. This slower pace equates to subtle magic, the pulling of probability toward your favor, synchronicity, Luck.

Roadblocks, obstacles, and difficult people are.... fascinating, not infuriating. Say it with me... Fascinating! It's fun to say. You can say it super sarcastically or say just like Mr. Spock. You can even say it straight at an infantile with little repercussion. If however, you let the situation pull you into a place of anger, then you are pulling your probability curves toward a future with unrealized dreams.


The key to infinite magic is to stop doubting the intention of the attention.

Envision, Will, Work, Realize

I don't like doing Work. That's something I'm improving on now, but I'm just being honest. Dreams still take some effort. My magic plays with probability, not effortless outcomes. Maybe one day.
The Realize part is the bitter pill sometimes. When you realize your dream, that's great! Mostly though, I tend to realize that "oh, this thing is in the way of my dream"; so now I need to start a new working and Envision a way around this new obstacle.

And that's how it's done.

But now I need to do it FEARLESSLY!

.... and that's... a different kind of life. I'm not sure I'm prepared for living my life without a safety net... but fascinate that, that's just fear, right? Hmmm. It's still in me, the fear is. Perhaps it's best to take my own advice and plod my way to fearlessness, rather than leap off the canyon and pray.

Movies and TV Shows about True Reality (mixed and out of context)

Battle Beyond the Stars (1980)>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Blade Runner (2007)
Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (2016-2017) <---Best Show Ever? 2nd season is next level
The Men Who Stare at Goats (2009)
Defending Your Life (1991)
Dark City (1998)
City of Lost Childern (1995)
Alice in Wonderland (1951)
Wizard of Oz (1939)
Cloud Atlas (2012)
Dr. Who (1963-)
Dark Crystal (1982)
Watchmen (2009)
Guardians of the Galaxy 2 (2017)
Glitch (2015-)
The Matrix (1999)
The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai across the 8th Dimension (1984)
Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989)
Fight Club (1999)
Explorers (1985)
Branded (2012)
Under the Skin (2014)
Weird Science (1985)
Brazil (1985)
Altered States (1980)
Permanent Vacation (1980)
Stranger Things (2016-)
Game of Thrones (2011-2019)
Westworld (2016-)
Real Men (1987) >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Field of Dreams (1989)
A.I. (2001)
Avatar (2009)
Beetlejuice (1988)
The Hudsucker Proxy (1994)
Starwars: A New Hope (1977)
The Man in the High Castle (2015-)
Gravity Falls (2012-2016)
Donnie Darko (2001) >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Interstellar (2014)
K-PAX (2001)
The Serpent and the Rainbow (1998)
Pi (1998)
Time Bandits (1981)
The Number 23 (2007)
Truman Show (1998)
Pan's Labyrinth (2006)
Jim & Andy: The Great Beyond (2017) *****
Mr. Robot (2015-)
They Live (1988)
Pinoccio (1940)
The Good Place (2016-)
In the Mouth of Madness (1995)
ExistenZ (1999)
Lifeforce (1985)
The Arrival (1996)
Big Trouble in Little China (1986)
Videodrome (1983)
Sucker Punch (2003)
The OA (2016-)
The Machinist (2004)
The Fountain (2006)
Battlestar Galactica (2004-2009)
Tron (1982)
Wag the Dog (1997)
Crossworlds (1996)
Legion (2017-)
Total Recall (1990)
Instinct (1999)
Life of Brian (1979)
Fallen (1998)
The Ruling Class (1972) >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Watch it, seriously
Soylent Green (1973)
House (1986) >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Twilight Zone (1959-1964)
The Endless (2017)
Strange Angel (2018-)
2036: Origin Unknown (2018)
Starman (1984) >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Swiss Army Man (2016)
What Dreams May Come (1998)
The Network (1976)

Fascinating

Here's a thing. It supposes that consciousness exists independent of space/time, gaining mass and density through experience until able to reincarnate as a being of the next density, like notes moving up a musical scale.

 Right, so if I understand this right... Kur would be a 5th density service-to-self type being (that's basically a demon). 5th density is like the angel/demon level... I guess. 6th density is where the angels mind meld into hiveminds, or choirs of angels; also no service-to-self types allowed up in 6th Density. Those demons will have to purify themselves a bit if they want be able to touch the hem of the robe. Then to reach 7th, once nothing more can be learned through service to other selves, the 6th density entity turns backward in time to help aid and assist it's own previous incarnations. Your guardian angel/star magi is you from the future working to help both of you meld with joy/divinity/source.

Kur's Comet

So way back when, all the Atlanteans and far flung colonies were living it up full of abundance mindset and love for community. King Atlas held the weight of the world and kept all people trading, traveling, happy, prosperous, and self-actualized. The world became so happy and peaceful that everyone began to feel sorry for a star. 

It was dim at first, slumping up off the horizon with difficulty and heaving it's way wearily across the sky. It's plight seemed evident though the cause was not. Atlantis, the colonies, all people, offered to ease the woe they felt emanating from the star. Using all efforts of communion, aid was offered from all over our world.

Kur saw this pity as weakness.

Kur became banefully brighter upon the approach, til near rivaled the sun and threatened to broach.
Bearing light, false dawn, morning star, mourning star, shattered star, raining fire, earth, and water.
Comets tails, dragons fires, demons hearts, tongues of liars, Kur binds the will and twists the mind.
Fear, lack, scarcity, and pain; those are Kur within your brain. Not every thought you have is you.
Sometimes thoughts are having you!

The Feral Atlanteans

Quibish tells this tale, in pieces, using metaphor. I'll stitch it up.

After the Fiery Fall of Kur which melted the ices of the world, which shift in weights, popped the plates, and washed Atlantis away. The survivors of the mountain temples wept for the loss of their people but vowed the preservation of their wisdom. The empire was vast, but coastal; conditions now barbaric where active at all. The wise atlanteans of mountain sanctuary devised to move to a far away land to join a friendly mountain tribe they knew of there. For without farmers, toilers, or workmen; these wizards of star, stone, sea, and breeze were at the mercy of their elements. Preservation of the ageless wisdom be their task, so off they set then to find some folks to feed them. What sailors remained had to Atlantis came, but no refuge there did find them. So all off they sailed, then strode, then swam until upon stood pot bellied hill and settled in within the tribe which did then welcome them in.

The wise did teach the tribe, and the tribe taught the wise as well. They worked the stones and built the temple on the hill. The standing stones impressive and carved, the floor waterproofed so that standing water within could reflect the glittering stars above. As above, so below. Mostly though, they spent their time folding their knowledge into the sky. They weaved wisdom into story and put those then within patterns in the stars, such that the student might use the night sky as a mnemonic device, memorizing ancient wisdoms by reading the night sky as a magical tome.

Quickly here... the basic breakdown into sky magic correspondences

 Sun - Like the self, it is the same sun each day, as we the same spirit in each body, each life.
 Moon - Liken to our subconscious intuition, hidden depths, knowing illusion, the reflections of self
Comets - Fiery active force, deeds of action, destruction, deflection, impact, violence, valor
Stars - Knowledge, thought forms, psychic entities, egregores, memes, language, ego, personality
Rainbows - Service to Other Selves, community, volunteering, improved set and setting, festivals
Clouds - Gratefulness, intimacy, rain/tears, art, connection, interaction, overshadowing emotions
Ring - Horizon line, the unknown, death, terminus est, deny, withhold, transformation, rebirth


Among all in this new grand tribe then were passed the lessons of humility, patience, gratitude, unity of spirit, and psychedelics. These people made contact with the Star Magi and were enlightened by the brilliance they saw. In groups of seven (or twelve, whatevs) they would volunteer to be joined in special ceremony with the spirits of the future ancients. They would go out into the world to spread this timeless wisdom to all the people of the world. They used their magics to teach and inspire and to grow civilization. The Apkallu to Sumer, the Olympians to Greece, Odin's clan further North, Seven Sages East and Asia, how many of these groups of seven were remembered as gods, I know not. Most probably perished unforgotten along the way. Unfortunately Kur has a foothold in the world now and seeks always to poison minds with scarcity and inferiority in order to press them into service and spread farther again, layer upon layer, burrowing into the heart of the world.

Eventually Kur found this secret mountain sanctuary. Forces dispatched to enslave what feral atlanteans remained there. The ancient temple buried such that no man can now find it.

Quibish says he can speak to the now past feral atlanteans in dreams and visions. He claims to talk to the Star Magi. He says that he can perform the symbiotic synchroschism ceremony and has seven volunteers, but he needs me to find seven future ancients to splice with them so that they/we can become demi-gods or whatever.

If you've been looking for something a little different, I believe I have a game for you.

The Freemind Society

Within my Ancients&Aliens setting (Sumer) exists a character named Quibish Freemind who purports to have received the ancient wisdom of a lost ocean-sailing civilization. Many laugh away such notions, or pitied him a madman, for everyone throughout the lands of Sumer know that the Anunnaki created mankind here and none sailed the oceans before then, but Quibish is emphatic.  He is charismatic and well spoken, and eventually finds a few who listen to his words of hope, peace, and love. He travels from city to city, gathering new followers as they go marching out to found a new village of their own, Sanctuary.

Now, these beliefs, the stuff he's telling his people... it's freaking me out honestly. I made a character in my mind who has successfully and repeatedly disturbed me. I'm not even sure what to do with that, or how to sum this up. Here, see for yourself.

Nick: Quibish, would you please come explain a bit about the Freeminders?

Quibish: HEEEEYYYOOOO Pequenyo hiya what? Oh, no. Freeminds. We are freeminds.

N: Sure, fine. So, how did you receive this knowledge?

Q: Telepathy! It all poured right in. Many think of telepathy as hearing voices in the head, but that's not even half of it. Telepathy is seeing what someone else means, which is an altogether different form of thing. If you are referring to the circumstances of the acquisition, I sat in meditation for hours attempting to experience beyond the limits of my perception before I had any success.

N: Ok, so who is it then that you communicate with telepathically?

Q: I assume that you mean besides yourself? Countless others who are all pieces of the one intelligent infinite perfection which fractals it's way towards ever greater complexity in the endless quest for novelty, our endless dance of separation and reunion with our other selves.

N: Yeah, so... I'm not sure this is working. Um, piercing through your words to see your meaning is... a workout sometimes.

Q: Perhaps you should ask better questions.
-Some time later-
N: Perhaps you're right. Maybe I'm coming at this all wrong. Why do you choose to communicate with me?

Q: Our star magi introduced us so that we might help each other. You will gather other future ancients to commune with my people and advise us in our struggle against Kur and those bent toward his service to self mentality which enslaves those bodies held within it's psychic grip.

N: Ugh, my blog is a trainwreck happening in realtime. Can you define "future ancients"?

Q: Yes. You and your people are the future ancients. You travel to the Moon and stars. You hold the tablets of fate which tell the tales of all those who ever live. Your vivid dreams wing and whoosh to wanting eyes a blink of a world away. We dub thee "future ancients" for we glory in your wonders and weep at your passing.

N: Oh, um, do you think I'm dead?

Q: Your time has long since past.

N: I... are you serious? Are you just trying to irritate me now?

Q: I am sorry if my honesty vexes you. You're circumstances remain, only perspective alters.

N: I made you up. You live in a version of ancient sumer that I made up.

Q: Yes, we make up each other. I'm glad that you are coming around to the idea.

N: *sigh* Ok. ok. I'm rethinking this whole format now. You said that the star magi introduced us. Can you tell me more about the Star Magi?

Q: Our star magi is our truest self striving always toward enlightenment, magic, and wonder. A condensation of consciousness moving towards ever greater understanding and realizations. You associate this thought pattern with the word "soul", but to the understanding of the feratalanteans this was star magi is a student undergoing magical instruction within the university of the unseen, a school which we cannot perceive because it is all pervasive and most beings tune it out as noise.

N: Yeah, this is a mess. We have to tighten all this up into a manifesto or something. I don't know how to package this madness. I worry about my mental health.

Q: Don't worry, you aren't crazy. We've just gone a little unsane is all.

Ongoing insane DM notes - Classes

Typically, I like to think that my DMing style is akin to an explorer forging ahead into the unknown with my players. The actuality is that I show up ill prepared and then make the fun happen through intuition and force of will. Case in point, my class list...

	Str	Int	Wis	Dex	Con	Cha
18	Juggernaut	Abjurer	Psychic	Ninja	Jedite	Prophet
17	Huntress	Necromancer	Monk	Sharpshooter	Ronin	Enchanter
16	Paladin	Summoner	Seer	Blademaster	Evoker	Cantor
15	Geomancer	Elementalist	Druid	Hydromancer	Pyromancer	Aeromancer
14	Valiant Knight	Illusionist	Priest	Rogue/Duelist	Berserker	Noble/Warlord
13	Black Knight	Witch	Cultist	Assassin	Warlock	Sorcerer
12	Gladiator	Wizard	Cleric	Burglar/Scout	Viking	Spy
11	Hexenblade	Shaman	Alchemist	Nightblade	Pirate	Bard/Fool
10	Red Shirt	Beastmaster	Zealot	Runenmeister	Wild Elf	Skald
9	Ranger	Barbarian	Sun Elf	Hill Dwarf	Dark Elf	Mutant Warrior
8	Hobling	Savage	Gnome	Mountain Dwarf	Moon Elf	Tiefling
7	Orionixie	Orc	Halflingon	Centauroid	Birdperson	Naked Mole Ratling
6	Furling	Kobald	Goblin	Andwarvian	Octopode	Mantis Stalker
5	Frogling	Beastman	Satyr	Serpentaur	Golem	The Cloven
4	Faerie	Minotaur	Mushroomen	Naga	Gargoyle	Mutant Freak
3	Ghost	Troll Runt	Jester Psycho	Undead	Robot	Haniver

So there it is. A lot of these are custom classes that I haven't taken the time to build yet. I just let people roll up whatever, and if they pick an unfinished one I just ask them what they imagine the class to be like, give them some kind of class ability/bonus for the first session, and then try to finish making the class at home before the next session. To get the mechanics right, I'd ask these questions...

Spell Use? As cleric or wizard or other? Describe if other.
What size die do you roll for hp?
Hit Progression has 4 options; Fighter, Cleric, Magic-User, Normal Man (aka non-progression)
Any armor or weapon restrictions?
Any beyond human abilities? Describe please

I'd go home and plug those answers into my Custom Class Thingamajig, and then fiddle with it all until I was happy. Whether it's a new species or faction/profession I'd try to put together the framework of the culture and how they fit within the world, but on the flip side of that I want the player to create whatever backstory they like for their character, family, and background. Then we weave all those ideas together to help give richer detail to the class. In practice it's a glorious mess.

Oh right, character creation... so once your scores are rolled up, you look at your highest and lowest total to find your two class options (which can be combined btw if the player and I are crazy enough), or be a human (always an option). I've got 96 classes listed here, but with possible combinations who knows. I'm keeping the non-humans on the low end of the list for a few different reasons. The main one being that I allow players to lower their ability scores if they want to play a particular (fancy ability-heavy) character class. It gives people the opportunity to play any species they want, but is fair to those who bow to the will of the dice. Speed of character creation is a serious consideration, I don't like to think about how much of my life has been spent rolling up characters. When you have a class list of 96, you give people 2 options plus human and then move on. Trust me. Another reason that I tied non-humans to low ability scores is because when I create these custom classes I have to just give a number weight to each new ability, and I'm sure that I'm undervaluing things because player ingenuity will always surprise you. How much xp are wings worth? What about gills? So, as I make the class I will give a value to these, and then later often go back to increase these values. I feel the ability score penalty adds a bit of balance. Hmm, and the third reason is spite. Oh, you're too good to be a human? I've had to be one my whole life, here have an ability score penalty you special little snowflake.

It just dawned on me that I need to add Conviction to my chart and 16 more classes. Oy.

Feels easier to just let people write down anything as a class (two words or less) and make a custom class for each one as I go. No. That's the procrastination talking. You can do it you insane DM you!

Daily!

Just got back from a root canal, which has put a wrinkle in my writing plans, as I cannot seem to concentrate on much else at the moment.  Hmmm.

This blog feels so artificial to me. I'm too used to simply talking to people at the table. Suppose if I type as I speak that might at least help me feel more honest. I'm not sure how to blog about Star Magi Mystery School. I could run it, but... huh

So, you roll 3d6 for each ability score, and write down the number on each die in the order that they landed in front of you from left to right. Here, I'll roll one up too. 4,4,2. On my character sheet...

The Sun	4	4	2	Strength	10
The Moon	3	4	4	Wisdom	11
Comets	2	2	2	Dexterity	6
Stars	4	1	5	Intelligence	10
Rainbows	3	5	6	Constitution	14
Clouds	2	6	4	Charisma	12
The Ring	4	3	2	Conviction	9

Ok, so the column of numbers on the far right are the totals that most players would recognize. As for the others; the left column represents the relative magical strength of the Star Magi as it channels itself through this character, the middle column represents the character's instincts/emotions/unconscious and gets used for saving throws, the column on the right (left of Str) represents the character's ego/persona and how they interact with the world.

At this point I feel I should point out that the left column could be seen to represent Fire/Spirit, the middle Water/Emotion, the right Air/Mind, and the far right Earth/Physical Manifestation

Don't worry if you don't get it, we'll learn as we go.

So, now we look at the lowest and highest scores to see our class options. Dex6 opens up Andwarvian as an option (spliced dwarven/andorian DNA), and Con14 offers Berserker, but I'm going with option #3 Human which is available no matter what you roll. Oh! You can combine results as well, so technically Andwarvian Beserker was option #4, but who would want that?

Humans begin play with two special abilities, adaptability and suffering. Enjoy :)

That's all for now. I know it's vague, but that's where I live honestly. I'll ramble more later, but my face aches right now.

Please feel free to ask questions, I need all the help I can get.